Taking control of your anger
How should you deal with you anger?
No, you don't have to hold it, but yet you don't have to tighten your fist, breath heavily, grit, stare, or imagine million ways to kill someone.
Try this. There's a little kid in you whose name is the same as yours. As soon as something happens to the kid, he/she will rush to you and tell you that "I am so angry! I wanna bite him!"
Now YOU! You are observing things; you see what's going on; you are compassionate enough to comfort and console the kid. I believe if you are reading this blog, you are not the type to tell him/her to fight or harm someone, but you will rather tell him/her to calm down, because you know well that
1. the anger is just a feeling that the kid submits to.
2. there is a reason why the kid is angry, but you know the consequence if the kid goes too far.
Now tell your kid what to do; there you are telling yourself what to do.
Why does this method work?
The sooner the kid tells you about anything, the sooner you can pick up your feeling and you get back to mindfulness state quicker. You don't allow your instinct to take control; which of course it is best to control things consciously. Hence you will not strengthen this part of your brain to hard wire the temper reflex. It is a reward system, the more you do, the better you feel.
No, you don't have to hold it, but yet you don't have to tighten your fist, breath heavily, grit, stare, or imagine million ways to kill someone.
Try this. There's a little kid in you whose name is the same as yours. As soon as something happens to the kid, he/she will rush to you and tell you that "I am so angry! I wanna bite him!"
Now YOU! You are observing things; you see what's going on; you are compassionate enough to comfort and console the kid. I believe if you are reading this blog, you are not the type to tell him/her to fight or harm someone, but you will rather tell him/her to calm down, because you know well that
1. the anger is just a feeling that the kid submits to.
2. there is a reason why the kid is angry, but you know the consequence if the kid goes too far.
Now tell your kid what to do; there you are telling yourself what to do.
Why does this method work?
The sooner the kid tells you about anything, the sooner you can pick up your feeling and you get back to mindfulness state quicker. You don't allow your instinct to take control; which of course it is best to control things consciously. Hence you will not strengthen this part of your brain to hard wire the temper reflex. It is a reward system, the more you do, the better you feel.
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